hm... sometimes I wonder how much I can take... But I know God knows. I am so tired and drained... and yet there are people who have so much less then I... and are so going through so much more... I just know that God is in control. My boyfriend was in the hospital all weekend. He went in Friday at 3:00 pm and ended up having appendicitis and so they did emergency surgery at 8:30 PM that night... and I had skiped work to be there with him. They got out of surgery at 10:00... and took him to ICU to wake up and make sure he came out okay... durring that hour while he was in ICU I went back to school and ate dinenr and showered... I headed back to the hospital and waited till around 11:30 and decided I should call my RA... so I called and told her I was going to spend the night there if I could cause he was really not doing well... and so I stayed there and he got to go to his room finally at 12:30 AM and he slept all night and I had to sleep in the waiting room... and I checked on him all the time... cause the nurses told me he had asked for me several times and was very intent on my being there (even though he was drugged so much) they said that at 2 when I had fallen asleep finally... he woke up for the first time and looked at the nurses who where working on him and said "Where is Ashley?"
"Your girlfriend? She is asleep dear."
"Go get her, Wake her up."
"No. We are going to let her sleep."
"No. She would want to be here. Go get her. She would want to be woken up. She would wnat to be here."
"No. She would want to sleep. Go to sleep."

so he felel back to sleep... and I woke up at 3:15 and went in to check on him and I just held his hand and he squeezed it and then woke up alittle and smiled and woke up alittle... then he asked what time it was... I told him and he was like "YOU STAYED ALL NIGHT! YOU SHOUDL DO YOUR HOMEWORK... " I jsut laughed... and told him I would do my homework later it was only Saturday... lol... at one point he asked me to marry him... I just told him not yet... and he fell back to sleep... lol... those drugs were fun... He had morphine hooked up to him that first night and he refused to click his button when he hurt... and I figured it was cause he didn't know what it was or what it did... lol... they tried explaining it but he kept telling me "DON'T PUSH IT... I HURT... DON'T PUSH IT... " So I didn't but the nurse would... so it got pushed alittle... then the next morning he pushed it all the time... I think he figured it out... lol... anyways... he slept alot... then on Saturday his fever kept rising and he was in so much pain...

I spent the night there again Saturday... and his fever peeked to 103 so we had washclothes on him and I stayed up most of the night... I was worried... Sunday they decided to go in for emergency exploritory surgery... they didn't have to re-open the incision but they fixed the problem. His mom and step-dad came over from Kansas City to be with him Sunday so I stayed around with them through it all sunday and then they headed out sunday evening and I spent the night again... I went to class monday... and some friends switched off who would be at the hospital... and my boyfriend's RA asked if he could spend the night that night... so I let him and I went in Tuesday afternoon to see him and Shane was sitting there doing fine!... WOW it was insane difference... he was joking and laughing and seemed to be doing well... He got released Wednesday and I took him back to school... His room is on the 4th floor so that is fun... lol... but he is doing good... so far... lol... and I am not so worried anymore... but it was a long week... sigh...

Hope you are all doing good...~Ashley

hi everyone who still checks here...

I am at BBC still... LOL...

I don't have much to say... life has been real hecktic... I live and keep learning...

School is still school... and friends are still friends...

I am currently working at a day care for an elementary. Fun stuff... anyways... I work everyday. I love work though... I love the kids... I am teaching sunday school and sometimes I get to work nursery at church... I love the kids... I can't wait... lol..

But I guess God wants me too... cause I haven't found that guy yet... maybe I am not suposed to...

I know that at 28 a single female is eligable for adopting a child... lol!

I am single and 20... sigh... it is life though... I am good... I enjoy it...

um... I am having a joyous time finding out how to love God more... it is a day-to-day competition over my time and energy... God should win... but friends sometimes take my focus from God... I don't know... it is life... I have to do my best... and never will be enoug... I have to run now... cause it is late... I am sorry for not updating this site more... I think You all just need to go to my other one... it is cooler anyways... sorry...

lynley268 is my other site... enjoy your time...

I am at BBC... classes started THursday... it seems like a good set up... I have uperclassmen classes on Tuesday and Thursday and Freshmen classes on Monday, Wednesday and FRiday....

I am considered a Jr... YAY!... so I can graduate in May 07!... Yes!... and get my nursign started up again!... YES!... haha

I can't wait...

but I can...

I am learning so many lessons this year... if I can cram them all into my brain... God is crazy awesome in supplying me with friends and new solutions to problems and stuff...

Every saturday night there is this group from my school that goes out to a plaza downtown... there are all these bars around and stuff and they just sing praises to God to attract people around and they witness and reach out to them... it is an aweosme ministry... and I am so thankful I heard about it... I had such a blast Saturday... anyways... I think it is awesome...

Anyways...  I guess that is all to update on... I am takeing some tough classes... and will probably stress about them...a nd I have a bunch of reading to do for school and some required reading for something not school related... so that is fun... (especially since I read really retardedly slow) not that there is anything wrong with those who are slow... I just get frustrated with myself when I have been staring at the same page for 10 minutes... lol... oh wells...

God is still AWESOME!

~Ash

I am at BBC in Springfield... enjoying it..

I got pulled over (me and the guy I was following to springfeild) they searched our vehicles for drugs ... that was interesting... but would you believe it! They didn't find anything!... I don't know what they thought they would find.... haha.... but anyways... they didn't give us a ticket for anything or anything... it just delayed our trip by 45 minutes... haha...

anywys... I am working at school in Housekeeping... but I applyed to the Christian Elementary school for an After care position so maybe I will get that... (I hav emy interview tomorrow...) anyways...

I should go...

bye